In my mind
I see myself driving cross-country in a Uhaul, Quinn there with me. I'm happy as I know I'm going to a place where I can be myself. I'm going to a place where I can maybe stop hiding, maybe stop shoving everything down. I&
I have been
It's been an absolute struggle for me lately. I feel like most of my non-work time is me being in "distraction" mode, which I feel like I'm in flight-or-fight mode. For a long while, work was the best thing going on in my life,
Frustrations
I've had two customer calls this morning, both very frustrating in very different ways. First was Celanese. The project as assigned is to assist them in upgrading from just our core/flagship product to a "bundle" which includes a few addon products. They've had
Work sucks
It can take a little bit for it to ramp up, but I often forget how crazy busy things can get in February/March for me. I did 51 hours last week and I feel like I had so much undone. Been talking with Hannah to get a refi on
Strange realizations
I realized today that I tend to lean into things that are in my current comfort level, and that I need to be open to change and new things more. And how did I come to this (should have been rather obvious) realization? Music. Specifically Sara Bareilles. I realized that
Trying to open up more
I have a confession to make, and I apologize for it in advance. I was infatuated with you from the moment I met you in person. I had wanted you for SO long. I was listening to some music from my Apple playlist and "Hold My Hand" by
These Dreams ...
I had a really strange one last night, and out of it I also had what might seem to be a silly realization. In this dream I was back at Weiss, Peck, & Greer, and I was trying to get back to the IT department from somewhere on the 31st
Ugh
Well, I got back in, but 2+ weeks of posts are gone.
Steps
I see the light at the end of the tunnel for the house, at least for me. It will either be rented or sold in the next 2 months. I contacted the apt in Gilbert and said I want to renew (my lease ends in January) I'm starting
A letter to my future self
In the future, if you're ever feeling guilty about your relationship with Hannah, or even longing for her, remember a few things: * The way she knee-jerk reacts to anything emotional * The way she puts her problems on almost anyone else * How she tries to find joy in things/
(Untitled)
Ever have one of those emotional realizations that just hit you like a ton of bricks? I had one just now, and it's the realization that I've put so many other things ahead of my own needs for the purpose of pleasing others that I struggle
Finding things out years later
It's not that I like to be alone, but the more involved I am with someone (family, friends, partners, even acquaintances) the more I need to feel emotionally safe if I'm going to spend significant time. Jamie was not a partner relationship. I was her caretaker.