I have been

It's been an absolute struggle for me lately. I feel like most of my non-work time is me being in "distraction" mode, which I feel like I'm in flight-or-fight mode.

For a long while, work was the best thing going on in my life, but it's starting to get stressful. I think feeling useful and needed is one of the things I like(d) best about my job.

Still in therapy, and one of the things I've been realizing/learning is that I was so desperate as a child for acceptance that not only did I adjust my personality to fit what I think others wanted, I would also suppress so much of what was going on in my mind out of fear it would be ridiculed. And I still do that.

I can tell the stress is getting worse; headaches are more routine, muscles are tense more often.

In my mind

I see myself driving cross-country in a Uhaul, Quinn there with me. I'm happy as I know I'm going to a place where I can be myself. I'm going to a place where I can maybe stop hiding, maybe stop shoving everything down. I&

Frustrations

I've had two customer calls this morning, both very frustrating in very different ways. First was Celanese. The project as assigned is to assist them in upgrading from just our core/flagship product to a "bundle" which includes a few addon products. They've had

Work sucks

It can take a little bit for it to ramp up, but I often forget how crazy busy things can get in February/March for me. I did 51 hours last week and I feel like I had so much undone. Been talking with Hannah to get a refi on

Strange realizations

I realized today that I tend to lean into things that are in my current comfort level, and that I need to be open to change and new things more. And how did I come to this (should have been rather obvious) realization? Music. Specifically Sara Bareilles. I realized that

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In my mind

Frustrations

Work sucks

Strange realizations