There is no bear

I had put this laptop in my bag about 30 minutes ago but I have thoughts and feelings just oozing out of me right now.

I have Sara Bareilles "Breathe Again" stuck in my head.
This feels wrong ... not unlike when I left to come here. Both times were like taking a huge breathe and jumping into a cold swimming pool and hoping that the outcome would be what you wanted.
My heart is hurting right now. Two dozen times in the last 12 hours I've had that feeling of tears building up ... that strange pressure just below and behind the eyes.
In between that song repeating, my brain keeps saying "WTF?"
Am I a vagabond? A hobo? Completely messed up?

In my mind

I see myself driving cross-country in a Uhaul, Quinn there with me. I'm happy as I know I'm going to a place where I can be myself. I'm going to a place where I can maybe stop hiding, maybe stop shoving everything down. I&

I have been

It's been an absolute struggle for me lately. I feel like most of my non-work time is me being in "distraction" mode, which I feel like I'm in flight-or-fight mode. For a long while, work was the best thing going on in my life,

Frustrations

I've had two customer calls this morning, both very frustrating in very different ways. First was Celanese. The project as assigned is to assist them in upgrading from just our core/flagship product to a "bundle" which includes a few addon products. They've had

Work sucks

It can take a little bit for it to ramp up, but I often forget how crazy busy things can get in February/March for me. I did 51 hours last week and I feel like I had so much undone. Been talking with Hannah to get a refi on

Read more

In my mind

I have been

Frustrations

Work sucks