How do you ...

How do you actually figure out what you want? I feel like every time I get to a point where I'm a bit more in touch with my feelings it opens up another layer to dig down into. It's a little bit like one of those video games where just when you think the plot line is presented completely in front of you, a whole new rabbit hole is opened up.

I feel like the layers are many, and somewhere in them is a good balance of my emotions and facts/logic. For example, on the surface I am easy going, but what's really happening is I'm people pleasing to the utmost level and just going along with what others want.

Why do I do this? I hate interpersonal conflict. In my house, growing up, my parents tried to cover up my dad's alcoholism and part of that was making it seem like everything was ok. My dad's lack of social skills or being friendly was brushed aside as "he works long, hard hours." When one of my brother, sister, or myself was malcontent, we were quickly pulled aside and basically told to just deal with it (typically with threat of punishment). If you present a happy face, you don't get in trouble.