Goodbye

Despite the fact that I knew it was coming for a while it still hurt. Calypso left us this morning, with her favorite people petting her and having been able to taste a little bit more of her favorite, sour cream.

I cried, a lot more than when I lost Madison or Hemi, and I again felt guilty for crying orders of magnitude more than when my dad was declared brain dead.

But I do know that cat was loved ridiculous amounts, even more by Hannah than by me. I also asked her to say hi to Stacycat for me, she could be found by looking for Mario.

My comfort, as always with this situation, is she felt love at least equal to the amount I'm hurting right now

In my mind

I see myself driving cross-country in a Uhaul, Quinn there with me. I'm happy as I know I'm going to a place where I can be myself. I'm going to a place where I can maybe stop hiding, maybe stop shoving everything down. I&

I have been

It's been an absolute struggle for me lately. I feel like most of my non-work time is me being in "distraction" mode, which I feel like I'm in flight-or-fight mode. For a long while, work was the best thing going on in my life,

Frustrations

I've had two customer calls this morning, both very frustrating in very different ways. First was Celanese. The project as assigned is to assist them in upgrading from just our core/flagship product to a "bundle" which includes a few addon products. They've had

Work sucks

It can take a little bit for it to ramp up, but I often forget how crazy busy things can get in February/March for me. I did 51 hours last week and I feel like I had so much undone. Been talking with Hannah to get a refi on

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In my mind

I have been

Frustrations

Work sucks