Brain waves

So this past week at work I was asked to be on a 3 person panel in front of the entire company to discuss the upcoming anniversary of 9/11. I didn't think it was going to affect me much, but it made me realize how important the mental health help I sought after was.

Well, I'm still seeking that, but not for PTSD this time, for the overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame that I have regarding almost any kind of social interaction I've had in the past that ended up negatively.

Very similar to 2020 and 2021, I can't get you out of my mind. Constant thoughts, constant regrets, constant longing. God I'm an idiot.

Read more

In my mind

I see myself driving cross-country in a Uhaul, Quinn there with me. I'm happy as I know I'm going to a place where I can be myself. I'm going to a place where I can maybe stop hiding, maybe stop shoving everything down. I&

I have been

It's been an absolute struggle for me lately. I feel like most of my non-work time is me being in "distraction" mode, which I feel like I'm in flight-or-fight mode. For a long while, work was the best thing going on in my life,

Frustrations

I've had two customer calls this morning, both very frustrating in very different ways. First was Celanese. The project as assigned is to assist them in upgrading from just our core/flagship product to a "bundle" which includes a few addon products. They've had

Work sucks

It can take a little bit for it to ramp up, but I often forget how crazy busy things can get in February/March for me. I did 51 hours last week and I feel like I had so much undone. Been talking with Hannah to get a refi on