Anyone seen a spine around here?

I need to help mine grow a bit more. I have been trying to repeat "you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm" over and over again. I've been picking out little patterns and telling myself I wasn't being healthy previously.

It's really, really hard to break out of these behaviors learned from such a young age, behaviors that were reinforced through at least young adulthood.

I can see so many things that guilt was the deciding factor in my life; Going to college for engineering originally, sticking with Jamie for so long, coming back here. All HUGE decisions ... one of the patterns is also not taking into consideration how the other person would feel if I made my feelings known.

In my mind

I see myself driving cross-country in a Uhaul, Quinn there with me. I'm happy as I know I'm going to a place where I can be myself. I'm going to a place where I can maybe stop hiding, maybe stop shoving everything down. I&

I have been

It's been an absolute struggle for me lately. I feel like most of my non-work time is me being in "distraction" mode, which I feel like I'm in flight-or-fight mode. For a long while, work was the best thing going on in my life,

Frustrations

I've had two customer calls this morning, both very frustrating in very different ways. First was Celanese. The project as assigned is to assist them in upgrading from just our core/flagship product to a "bundle" which includes a few addon products. They've had

Work sucks

It can take a little bit for it to ramp up, but I often forget how crazy busy things can get in February/March for me. I did 51 hours last week and I feel like I had so much undone. Been talking with Hannah to get a refi on

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In my mind

I have been

Frustrations

Work sucks